Friday, November 6, 2009

Results Are In

Yes, I have an under active Thyroid. My doctor started me on medication, half a pill for the first four days and then whole ones from then on.

So it's day 5 and I just took my whole pill. The side effects from taking just half of the pill caused me to be even MORE emotional and tired which can happen until the hormones level out... which could take months. Ugh.

I did end up feeling better yesterday afternoon- it was almost like a switch. I became less blue and perked up. We'll see how today goes on the whole pill. As I swallowed the pill, I thought "here's to burning some fat". I hope this works. I've kept up with the exercising and diet but have not lost much- about 6 pounds total but I do feel a little firmer and my clothes fit a little better. I am tempted to fast to accelerate the weight loss but I don't want to cut down on any of the potential muscle I have been building over this past month. It takes a looong time to see real results. But I am trying and feel proud that I have stuck it out this long.

My hopes are that if I can change my body, I can also change my life. I am still moving forward with wanting to start my own business. I really already started but need to figure out how to market my business. I have a few free teleseminars that I need to listen too. I just have not had the energy this past week but I am hoping that I will carve out some time today.

I have decided that this year, I will put up with less bull shit. Including from myself. Cut out the negative self talk and doubt. Refuse to put up with rude people or at least reduce them in my mind and demeanour to the insects they are. And finally, refuse to be treated poorly by anyone, including my husband.

This week was my birthday. The day started out well enough but I did not get the attention I thought I would... which kicked my blue mood into high gear. I could not stand to be around myself so I left work and headed down to the beach. Yes, the beach which is a good hour and half a way. I drove all the way there, got out in the shopping district and wandered around for a bit, breathing in the smell of the rich. The smell of the rich as it turns out, is the smell of a Day Spa I walked by which emitted aromas of sea salt scrubs and rich, mineral infused lotions. I bought myself a cup of coffee and a whole grain bagel because I was too chicken to eat by myself in one of the small restaurants. It was too lonely of a prospect. I made my way back to my car, put my flip flops on, rolled up my pant legs and walked right into the waves that lapped at the shore. The sand is so beautiful- powdery white and soft. The water was cool but not cold and felt good. I picked up few shells and sat down on the sand. It was nice to be myself and think. I watched the waves roll in gently and watched a sail boat in the distance. As I sat there, I watched couples walk by as well as foreign women in fancy bathing suits, I was struck by a thought. Other than my husband and children, I have no immediate family living near me. They all live in other states. It dawned on me probably for the first time that I was missing out on the traditional family bonding- the boring graduations and obligatory barbeque's. But with the boredom came a sense of identity as well as civility. So many couples I know here in Florida struggle in their marriages, myself included. Without the routine of traditional family events, it's easy for couples to drift apart and become uncivil towards one another. Even though our family may be a phone call away, it's not the same as seeing them and being with them in person.

I was in the grocery store the other day and overheard a mother talking to her daughter on her cell phone. The mother was assuring her that "grandma" would be home and not to worry. What a nice thing that would be to have- another member of your tribe there to help out with your children. I think of this as I think about my in-laws who may end up needing a place to live (namely our house). I originally balked at the idea of having them live with us not because I don't love them, because I do but because of the fear of getting on each others nerves and becoming angry at each other. But then I think of the potentially good aspects- someone always home, always around. A helping hand, another ear to hear me vent.

Here is the potentially good aspects in your life.



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