I was going to entitle this post "Back to Realty" but then I got to thinking about the definition of reality. At least my definition. It's really subjective isn't it? What my perception of reality is may be very different than yours and I think that is just as it should be.
My current reality for example, is that I am back at work after 11 days off. So my "reality" implies that it's a negative thing to be back at work, which it is but I digress. The rambling point I am trying to make here is that being on vacation was just as much reality as being at work is. Now that I have that cleared up I can proceed with my post updates.
I have managed to stay on track with the dieting, for the most part although I did consume far more wine than I had intended. I think I am wined out for a while. Christmas was wonderful- kids and adults were all happy and I cooked my little heart and and had a great time.
My first day bakc at work blues are in full gear and I am already missing sitting on the couch, snuggled with my 6 year old son watching movies while he played his DS or chattered about random things. I miss hearing his sweet voice. I just all around enjoyed being at home and got used to it very quickly. I felt a lightening in my spirit. I felt less burdened even though I still have the same problems and issues. I also felt more myself, or the self that is less stressed and I really like her. Wish I could keep her full time.
My plan is start my goal setting for the year because I know writing down goals works but it's just so darn hard for me to get into that frame of mind and really focus. But as with my weight loss, things will not change for me in my life unless I acknowledge the areas that are dragging me down, stop making excuses and begin moving forward toward the future that feels more real to me.
One of my goals this year is to devise a way to become more confident that I can and will always find a way to earn a living, hopefully in a way that is more self-reliant and less "job reliant". I am determined this year to make this happen and have enlisted a good friend at work who has agreed to help hold me accountable and I her.
It's January 5, 2010 and time for me to begin creating again like I have in the past.
What will you create?