I feel a true shift in myself and all I can say is...... thank God!
I look back at my old blog posts and can see the anguish, the fear and the general listlessness about my career and life in general.
So what changed?
Three things. First, I hired and intuitive named Amy Oscar. She does energy work and listens to the energy in your voice. It may sound strange but for anyone that has been reading my blog, you know that I have been growing desperate for some kind of guidance. All I can say is that the meeting was amazing and she helped me feel like I was on the right path. She also told me what others have told me in the past and which I have persitently ignored - that I am a teacher, intuitive, attuned, a writer, etc.
I ignored the "teacher" description of myself because I had always associated this with traditional teaching... like in an elementary school.... making very little money. My thoughts on teaching have definitely expanded. I realized that in my current work as a Human Resources Manager that I teach, guide or coach for a living. I help people make transitions, as a new hire, employee and and upon departure. The consulting aspect comes naturally and I really enjoy this part of my job. I dislike the corporate environment, the lack of challenge and most of all, the fact that I am not at home more for my children. I explained to Amy that I had this yearning to be home more for my youngest son, who will be eight in August. My older daughters are teenagers and while I feel they still "need" me, I feel my son needs me physically just as I need him. So Amy let me tell her my vision of being home with my son AND doing work that is fulfilling for me. It felt selfish to describe this vision, I mean shouldn't I just be grateful that I have a job? Yes, I should always be grateful for everything. I believe only good comes from that and sets you up, shores you up for the path you were meant to take. Amy told me I was in control, that I was the "wizard" and had the power to make it happen.
The second thing I did was continue to build my tribe on twitter. I only follow people who appear to be like minded or inspirational. This has helped me tremendously. This expanding network connects me to all kinds of interesting ideas and gives me a daily boost.
The third thing I did was I found the courage to interview and hire a Life Coach. Again, I have thought about hiring one for years but (insert excuse), the bottom line was that I felt I did not deserve the investment in myself. I signed on for three months, so we will see. There are so many coaches out there and I am so darn picky that I struggled to make a choice. I finally selected a coach whose website I loved and whose message I loved more. There was no dreaded sales pitch, just compassion. I could take my time, this coach said and if it felt right we could work together. My choice.
I spend a lot of time on introspection, maybe too much. I also keep a journal and despite my sporadic entries it is hard to ignore the patterns that have emerged. I sat down one day and asked the infinite, "What are my gifts? and How do I serve?". A string of words were jotted down, and I summarized the list with this: "idea translator". I am an idea translator?? What? You don't mean a coach do you? Like crazy Liza Life Coach? (Cheri O'Teri, wonderful actress from SNL) This only added to my resistance. I admitted this to my coach and she just laughed and acknowledged that coaching gets a bad rap and there is a movement within the industry to try and change that.
These are just a few steps I have taken and it has felt good to actually start something. The shift that I described culminated in a realization that what I really want to do is somehow teach, or guide of coach for a living, working for myself. I surrendered to the fact that asking for help is a good thing for me, and really a necessary thing if I want to really change my life. Finding your true passion can be difficult and I wanted to share my experience in hopes that someone else can be helped by it. Open yourself up to what others are saying, step back and reframe it. See if it fits.